I Am Not a Carbon Copy of Another Parent

I went to the first session of a course on "Writing Parenting" at the local college this morning.

I haven’t really written much since leaving school, but it was a nice escape from everything at the moment — even though the topic is a big part of my life right now.

I thought I’d share a couple of the things I wrote below. They’re rough and very much written in the moment, but they feel honest and true to where I am right now.

I Am Not a Carbon Copy of Another Parent

I am not a carbon copy of another parent
Using the model
But finding my own way

Needs must be met
But rules are not fixed
Mistakes can be OK

I am not another person
Things won't always work
Parenting through trial and error

I can trust my judgement
I can find my way
I can see on his face that I manage OK

Don't Punish Yourself

Don't punish yourself. Things like TV can be helpful. Sometimes you just need a break.

As a parent you have the responsibility and you are a guide, but you are not in complete control. Things like TV can be enticing for kids, but as with anything after a while they lose interest, get bored and look for other entertainment.

Boundaries are necessary, but negotiable. I hard "no" can just make things more appealing. Sometimes you have to trust that kids have some judgement of their own. They need guidance to develop it, but this cannot happen if they are not allowed to try.

If you set yourself up to mould your child into a perfect idea you have, you will be disappointed. They may be only developing and need help and guidance, but they also are their own person.

You can influence their values, but you cannot force them on them.